In a revelation that has somehow taken the internet by storm and turned it upside down, an avid researcher of Hello Kitty just announced that your entire life is a lie. In addition to having no mouth, Hello Kitty is somehow not of the feline persuasion. Because the little cutie has delighted children, teens, and adults alike since her inception, everyone is kind of freaking out.
Here's what's crazy. News outlets and magazines everywhere are reporting on this – including AWS, because I am floored. I mean, even Vanity Fair has had something to say about this. To wit, Christine R. Yano, who wrote Pink Globalization: Hello Kitty's Trek Across the Pacific, broke the news. She told the LA Times, “Hello Kitty is not a cat. She's a cartoon character. She is a little girl. She is a friend. But she is not a cat. She's never depicted on all fours. She walks and sits like a two-legged creature.” Yano also pointed out that she has a cat of her own.
But I'm confused, I suppose. Can't she be a cat and a cartoon character – and a friend? If it has cat ears and cat whiskers, isn't it a cat? Why does everything suddenly seem like a lie?