Celebrity Marriages are a guilty obsession for many people … myself included. The recent Kim Kardashian + Kris Humphries = 4ever (wherein the value of “4ever” is less than or equal to 72 days) brought the subject to the fore, especially since so many people still don't have the freedom to get married. Now, aside from that bit of snark right up there, I promised myself I wouldn't talk about Kim. However, other notoriously short celebrity marriages. In fact, I thought it would be interested to take a look at the shortest celebrity marriages. Some of these numbers are seriously surprising!
1. Rudolph Valentino and Jean Acker < 1 Day
Ah, Valentino. A sexy, sexy leading man – and a very difficult man to hold. He's on record as having one of the shortest celebrity marriages ever. On a magical day in November, 1919, he married Jean Acker. On that same magical day in November, 1919, he and Acker separated. Why? They were at least responsible to realize that impulsively marrying someone after only knowing them a couple of days was a bad idea. Too bad it happened after the nuptials!
2. Robin Givens and Svetozar Marinkovic: 1 Day
Beautiful Robin Givens is best known for one of the most controversial marriages of all time: her union with Mike Tyson. Years after they divorced, however, Robin married a man named Svetozar Marinkovic – her tennis instructor. They separated the very same day, although the divorce filing occurred a few months later.
3. Zsa Zsa Gabor and Felipe De Alba: 1 Day
Married one day, annulled the next. Is it any surprise one of the dahling Gabor girls has one of the shortest celebrity marriages? And the reason for the breakup? Because she's Zsa Zsa, y'all. I suppose it worked out all right, because now she's married to a “Prince” who wants to run for mayor and … oh wait.
4. Britney Spears and Jason Alexander: 55 Hours
This was the marriage heard round the world. Remember when behavior like this, coming from Britney, was somewhat surprising? A classic act of rebellion, Brit married childhood friend Jason in Vegas, then had it annulled a little over two days later.
5. Dennis Hopper and Michelle Phillips: 8 Days
He was already making a name for himself as an actor. She was still something of an ingenue, despite stardom with the Mamas and the Papas and a really, really messed up relationship with Papa John Phillips. They married on Halloween of 1970 (what's with Halloween and celebrity marriages?) and split in November. Hilariously, Hopper is often quoted as saying that the seven of the eight days were great, but “the eighth day was the bad one.”
6. Cher and Gregg Allman: 9 Days
Most people think only of Cher's relationship with Sonny, but that wasn't the only divorce she's gone through. This is a sordid little tale, though. The two musicians married on June 30, 1975. On July 9, 1975, they filed for divorce. The suit was dismissed that same August. They filed for divorce again in November of 1975, and the split was finally finalized in January … of 1979. Allman's problems with drugs and drinking were the reason for the split.
7. Catherine Oxenberg and Robert Evans: 12 Days
She is a beautiful actress, a former Dynasty star, and reputed to be Serbian royalty. He is a much, much older producer known best for films like Chinatown, Sliver, Jade, The Saint, The Out-of-Towners (the remake, unfortunately) who now has 7 marriages (and divorces) under his belt. I'm pretty sure this was of those oh so popular power-play celebrity marriages, but maybe I'm wrong.
8. Mario Lopez and Ali Landry: 2 Weeks
I don't get the Mario Lopez love either, mainly because a. I can't separate him him AC Slater with that curly hair, and b., I've heard he's kind of a serial cheater. Granted, I don't know if that's true, but the fact that he and Ali Larter got married on April 24, 2004, and filed for an annulment on May 12 of the same year.
9. Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas: 29 Days
Drew Barrymore has had some the saddest celebrity marriages. That's just my opinion because I love her, and I want her to be happy. Still, even her marriage to Tom Green had nothing on her happily wedded union with Jeremy Thomas. It lasted for less than a month; less than a year after getting hitch, they were officially divorced.
10. Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine: 32 Days
Last but not least, we finally have a celebrity couple that broke a month. It's kind of sad that this is the longest lasting marriage on the list. Ernest Borgnine was a great actor, but he didn't have a lot of luck with marriage. What caused the demise of his marriage with siren Ethel Merman? His explanation was simply that the marriage became “hell on earth” once they got home. As for Merman, her autobiography says it all: the page regarding their marriage is totally blank.
Celebrity marriages are always pop culture fodder. People love to hear about them, talk about them, and lay down bets on how long they'll last. I can kind of understand why the majority of celebrity marriages don't last, especially when they occur between costars – you spend so much time with someone, in such an intense environment, of course it feels like love. And hey, Kim and Kris beat the longest short union by 40 days! Are there any celebrity marriages in which you're really interested?
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